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  For someone to be a total human being, they must realize that something happened before them, something is happening now, and something will happen after they leave. As I have become involved with more community service, I have felt more complete. The feeling of winning a basketball game, or even a National Championship, is much deeper when it leads to the feeling that comes with raising money for the Duke Children’s Hospital, building the Emily Krzyzewski Family Life Center, and the feeling that will come when doctors and scientists discover a cure for cancer.

  Many people give money to charities. This is a great thing to do, as many of these organizations and foundations need these funds in order to pursue their mission. However, not everyone has the ability to give financially. One thing we can all give is time. And this is absolutely the most valuable thing you can give to another person, a group, or a charitable organization. When you spend time with someone in need or contribute to a cause, you really become a part of that person or a part of that endeavor. The feeling you have is addictive. It is a unique feeling knowing that you have gotten outside of yourself and made a positive impact on someone else.

  I always remind myself that I came from somewhere. Where did I start? I was not a Hall of Fame coach or a public figure my whole life. Who helped me? I know I did not get here alone. There were people who helped me along the way. Everyone needs people like that. This is why I am a strong advocate of mentorship programs. Such programs give children a chance to be around and learn from positive influences. Often the impact you have on these youngsters will lead them to have a similar impact on someone else. Giving back breeds giving back. It is simply the right thing to do.

  I also try to keep in perspective how lucky my family and I have been to have our health. Some people are not so lucky and they need others to help boost their morale and help them heal mentally and emotionally, as well as great doctors to help them get well physically. Cancer has had an impact on nearly everyone. In my life, it took my mom and my friend Jim Valvano. As a member of the board of the Jimmy V Foundation for Cancer Research, I believe that, through the hard work of the doctors and scientists who research the disease, as well as other foundations like the Jimmy V, we will eventually win this battle. I have always been amazed at how many courageous people I have met through these endeavors. These friendships are cherished by me and my family.

  Sometimes in life you need people to remind you of the necessity to move outside yourself and give back to the people and community around you. P.J. Carlesimo, one of my friends and an assistant coach for the San Antonio Spurs, often serves as that reminder for me. He will call me up and say, “Hey, One-Way.” This is his way of reminding me not to be a “one-way” type of guy. In life, I have been given a lot, but it is not a one-way street. I must remember to give back, to be a two-way person. Utilizing the success I have achieved to have a positive impact on people is what makes my life fulfilling. Usually whatever I have given, I get back more.

  No matter who you are or what you have achieved, you are incomplete until you find a way to use the blessings you have experienced in your life to have a positive effect on others. For me, it is not all about winning games but, rather, how we can use the success that we achieve on the court to contribute to the greater good.

  Guidance

  Guidance is help. We all need it. How do we get it? And how do we give it?

  When someone you care about asks for guidance, it is often difficult to know exactly what to say. After all, it is their life, not yours, and they know more about the entirety of the situation than you do. But because you care for them, often you will try to put yourself in their shoes and to help in any way you can. As a leader and, more importantly, as a teacher, it is crucial to know how to properly offer guidance. It is something that is very difficult to do and something at which very few people are good.

  Father Rog, a geometry teacher at my high school, Weber, knew exactly how to give guidance. I grew up in a very strict Catholic family and attended Catholic boys’ school all my life. My faith was important to me but there were many things about it that I did not completely understand. When I was a teenager, I had many questions, but, because of my upbringing, these were difficult to ask. At times, I really did not know how to put them into words. And at other times, I just didn’t want to ask because I might appear foolish. Fear of looking foolish is a common impediment in the lives of teenagers.

  Because Father Rog had been my teacher and had worked a lot with the athletes at Weber, I had grown to trust him. He knew me well enough to see when I was troubled by something. One day, he asked me to sit down with him in an empty cafeteria after one of our basketball practices. He said, “I know you have some things on your mind. Why don’t you tell me about them.” Then he did the best thing you can possibly do for a troubled youngster: he listened. He did it intently and he did not interrupt. Then he tried to help me clarify what I was really asking. And finally, in offering his counsel, he didn’t simply provide me with an answer. Rather, he led me down a path where the solution would be mine to discover. I finally got answers to questions that I either did not know how or was too afraid to ask.

  I have continued to seek Father Rog’s counsel and wisdom throughout my life. And each time, he has reminded me about what it means to offer guidance. You do just that: you guide. You can go to someone you trust and respect to point out a path, but remember: solutions are personal. They are yours. You must take ownership of them.

  As a college basketball coach, I work with young men who are experiencing a great deal of change in their lives. The transition from high school to college is a giant mental and emotional leap. I am a part of their lives during this impressionable time. And, again, I am their coach, friend, and advocate as they make the equally great transition from college to the real world.

  During these tenuous times, I recognize that these young men are likely experiencing the same sort of feelings and questions that I had when I first sought the counsel of Father Rog. I know that I cannot merely give them the answer that worked for me back then, or even answers that have worked for my other players in the past. Just because the resolution I came to worked for me does not mean it will work for them. My job is to point them to a path where they can discover their own solution. Then the solution is theirs and they are more apt to stick by it and even be proud of it. In offering a path as opposed to an answer, you put people in the position to follow that path again and again when new and different problems arise throughout their lives.

  Imagination

  Everybody has the ability to imagine. However, this gift is often underutilized by today’s youth. In a world of video games and mp3 players, too often youngsters are entertained by someone imagining for them.

  I can remember playing basketball, all alone, in a Chicago schoolyard as a kid. I would take jump shots, drive to the hoop for layups, shoot free throws, all the while verbalizing a running commentary of the game that I was playing in my head. “Down by one . . . 79–78 . . . six seconds on the clock . . . Krzyzewski dribbling down the court, crosses over . . . 3 . . . 2 . . . 1 . . .”

  As I took that final shot, I felt like I was really there, that the game was really on the line, and that I had the chance to be a hero. If the shot went in, the final buzzer sounded and I celebrated the victory. If I missed, there was, of course, a foul on the play and the game continued as I stood at the free throw line with no time on the clock. Though I enacted a broad range of imaginary scenarios throughout my youth, one thing remained the same: when I imagined, I always won!

  Imagination gives you a destination. When you dream, and you feel what it is like to be inside that dream, you feel inspired to make that dream a reality. You begin a process, a journey, toward making real those feelings that you first found in your imagination.

  In my career as a basketball coach, I have been in countless end-of-game pressure situations that can bring about nerves and anxiety. But because I imagined myself in these positions as a kid, I ha
ve always felt like I’ve been there before. The mind is so powerful. If you commit to utilizing your imagination to envision positive things, you will come to truly believe those things.

  In early 2006, we opened a community center in downtown Durham, North Carolina, for children from low socioeconomic backgrounds. I am so proud that the center was named in honor of my late mother, whose hard work and commitment to family provided me and my brother with opportunities to imagine. The Emily Krzyzewski Family Life Center’s motto is “Dream, Do, Achieve.” In other words, the center and its programs strive to inspire youngsters to dream of a better future, provide them with opportunities to develop their fundamental skills, and, ultimately, promote achievement through the development of character, capability, and confidence. The foundation of this pathway toward achievement is in dreams, in imagination.

  The greatest gift a coach can give a player, a teacher can give a student, and a parent can give to their child is the opportunity to imagine great things. These dreams in childhood pave the way for future successes.

  IMAGINATION IN ACTION

  Following the 1999 season in which we lost to the University of Connecticut in the National Championship game, several of our players decided to leave school early, either entering the NBA draft or transferring to another school. Shane Battier was one of the players who would return for two more seasons. Though he was a key player and starter on the team, Shane had averaged only about eight points a game and contributed to the team more as a role player than a star.

  My staff and I knew that in order for us to be successful in the coming seasons, Shane was going to need to maximize his potential and become our star. The only problem was that he had never thought of himself as a star; he had never imagined it. He was much too humble. I told Shane after that 1999 season that he was going to have to spend the off-season imagining himself in a starring role.

  That summer, as a follow-up to that conversation, I called Shane and asked him, “Shane, this morning while you were shaving, did you look in the mirror and imagine that you were looking at next year’s conference player of the year?”

  He chuckled and began to respond, “Coach, c’mon, I didn’t . . .”

  Click. I hung up the phone.

  The next day, I called him again and this time asked, “When you were on your way to your internship this morning, did you picture yourself going for 30 points against Virginia?”

  Again, Shane responded with a cautious laugh.

  I hung up on him again.

  A few seconds later, my phone rang and it was Shane. “Coach, don’t hang up on me!”

  “I won’t hang up on you if you won’t hang up on you. We made a deal that you would imagine those things.” Shane needed to imagine because, by doing so, when the time came and he actually found himself in those situations, he would feel as if he had already been there.

  That next season, Shane averaged nearly 18 points and six rebounds a game and was first team All-Atlantic Coast Conference. A year later, in his senior season, he earned National Player of the Year and National Defensive Player of the Year honors and led our team to the 2001 National Championship.

  He always possessed the tools necessary to be a star and a great leader, and he was always incredibly talented and smart, but Shane only fully realized his potential when he allowed himself to imagine great things. As a result, his teammates and I were able to go along for the ride as all of Shane Battier’s dreams came true.

  Integrity

  Integrity means doing what is right whether you are alone or with a group, doing the right thing no matter what the rewards or the consequences may be. It means putting your base of ethics into action.

  It takes strength of character to have integrity. Imagine yourself in a group of four kids. One is urging the rest of you to do something that you know is not right. Peer pressure is a powerful thing and can cause people to do things that are completely against their personal code. By saying no and not allowing yourself to fall victim to the pressure, you may be providing the other two individuals with the strength they need to say no as well. Perhaps they, too, knew it was wrong but simply were not strong enough to take a stand. You can walk away from the situation feeling proud that you stood your ground and that maybe you helped someone else find the strength to do so as well.

  I learned about integrity in the simplest possible way; my parents told me to do the right thing. So it was no surprise for me when I wound up at West Point, which operates under a strict code of ethics. The honor code states, “A cadet will not lie, cheat, steal, or tolerate those who do.” If you have integrity, and you can count on the others around you, your teammates, to be ethical as well, imagine the strength that you can form as a team: an entire group of individuals committed to simply doing the right thing.

  I have always told my teams and my three daughters that getting a D on a test, or even in a course, is far from the worst thing one can do. You can recover from that. You can study harder for the next test, you can get a tutor, you can even retake the course. The only bad thing would be if you were to cheat. Cheating means you are giving up on yourself. You lose a piece of yourself each time you violate your personal sense of what is right and what is wrong.

  Giving up on your integrity is a dangerous thing. One slip can lead to another, and before you know it, you may forget your ethics completely. With each violation, it becomes easier, and you feel less and less like what you are doing is wrong. However, if you stand by your code of ethics no matter what, your foundation becomes stronger and it becomes increasingly easy to follow your code through even the most trying times.

  INTEGRITY IN ACTION

  When I was a kid, I remember my father used to carry a lot of change in his pants pocket; you could hear it as he walked down the hall. Each day when he came home from work, he would hang his work pants over the back of a chair in his bedroom. One afternoon, knowing that he was in another room, I sneaked into their bedroom and took a small amount of change from his pants pocket. Surely there was so much of it that he would never notice. I took the coins, bought some candy that I had wanted, and enjoyed it.

  The next day, my father called me into his room and asked me if I had taken the change from his pocket. I was scared that I would certainly be in trouble, so I lied and told him that I had not. As it turns out, one of the coins I had taken happened to have some sentimental value to my father; it was his lucky coin. It seemed pretty unlucky to me.

  Now I realize how lucky that coin really was. My dad told me that he was very disappointed. Not only did I steal, but also I followed that up with a lie. One unethical thing led to another.

  I remember how I felt that afternoon. I had disappointed my dad, but, even worse, I had let myself down. I am glad I got caught that day. It set me on a path where I knew I never wanted to feel that way again. From that point on, I have tried to live my whole life with integrity. Doing the right thing becomes easier with time and repetition. Eventually, your integrity becomes an integral part of who you are and your ethics serve as a moral guide in all of life’s decisions.

  Learning

  To me, living is learning. Once you stop learning, you are no longer living.

  Even as someone who considers himself a teacher, one of the most important things I always try to recognize is that I never stop learning. Of course, I have learned an incredible amount from my parents, my wife, and my teachers and coaches throughout my life. But you do not merely learn from these traditional teaching sources. As a teacher, you can learn from your students. As a CEO, from your employees. As a parent, from your children. The key to learning is listening. I try to make it a habit to listen to everyone.

  Tommy Amaker is the first great point guard that I ever had at Duke. He had tremendous poise. He came to Duke already prepared to play at the ACC level as a freshman. He had incredible instincts about the game, particularly on the defensive end. In his first two practices as a freshman, I remember teaching a defensive stance, specifically used
when putting pressure on the opponent with the ball. I was in my ninth year as a head coach and I had been taught that the proper way to guard the ball was with your palms up. Tommy was playing pressure defense and he had his palms down, but he was doing a great job!

  Regardless, I stopped the drill and told Tommy that he needed to have his palms up when guarding the ball. When Tommy asked me why, I was stumped. It was the manner in which I was always taught to play defense and I never really thought about why it was done that way. Tommy made me think. “Well,” I said, “I suppose it is because, with your palms up, you have less of a chance of being called for a reaching foul.”

  “Coach,” Tommy responded, “I won’t reach.” Tommy had better balance with his palms down. He had a tremendous knack for stopping the dribbler and, therefore, became a National Defensive Player of the Year and the best on-the-ball defender Duke has ever had. He instinctively did not reach where others may have had a tendency to do so. So why not let him do what was more natural to him? As a result, I examined with more scrutiny the way I taught other parts of the game. The lesson I learned was that, with great players, it pays to be flexible. There isn’t just one way to do things.

  Six years later, I had another great defender on my team named Grant Hill. He was the most graceful player I have ever coached. He had a great career at Duke, was an All-America, and the National Defensive Player of the Year. After graduating, he became the third overall pick in the 1994 NBA draft.

  Grant had a different way of denying the ball to the player he was guarding. Though I had always taught that this should be done with a fully extended arm, Grant did not completely extend his. I asked him why, and he said that he felt more comfortable doing it that way. He was great at denying the ball, and if he felt more comfortable doing it that way, then that’s the way he should do it. He got the job done, and he got it done extremely well.